10. October 2018 · 3 comments · Categories: Updates · Tags: ,

I would like to thank everyone very much for all your prayers and condolences during these tough times.

Let me start out by telling you how I met Lee. Lee immigrated with her family to America in 1966 at the age of 12. Her family settled on Almy Street in Fall River, Mass. Almy Street also happened to be where I was living since the age of one.  I lived 4 houses down the street from where her family moved in. I was 15 at the time. I have 2 younger sisters that were around the same age as Lee. When my sisters first met Lee, she was sitting on the steps of her front porch. They walked along the front sidewalk and was trying to start a conversation. Not knowing a word of English, Lee stuck her tongue out at them and ran in the house. In later years, Lee admitted she thought they were making fun of her. Lee was determined to learn English as quickly as possible. She would often take the bus on her own to the library so she could learn to read and understand English.

Within in a year, Lee was understanding English quite well although she struggled with saying some words like refrigerator. I think it took her about 10 years to properly pronounce it. Lee would become very good friends with my two younger sisters. In fact, she would come over and hang out with them at our house. Whenever she saw me, she would wave at me and say hi. Often with a long stare and smile. One time one of my sister’s noticed the attention Lee was showing to me and remarked something like, “yuck not my brother!” I think Lee was 14 at the time and I was a few months from my 18th birthday. At the time I thought that although she was very cute, she was too young for me. Entering college to study engineering was my focus. It wasn’t until I came home from college for Christmas in 1970 that I finally saw a beautiful young woman who I realized was very much in love with me and I also came to realize how very much I was in love with her. I gave her my high school ring that following January, right after the 1971 new year.

Lee would work several part time jobs while she attended high school in order to support her mom and dad. At one point she had 3 part time jobs. One of her regular part time jobs was that of a Portuguese interpreter at a health clinic. She really enjoyed working with people and was seriously considering entering the nursing field when she finished high school. However, she found it very difficult to set aside her feelings for people who were suffering and dying and felt it would be too difficult to work in such an environment. 

On the new year of 1974, I proposed marriage to her. We were married on May 31st, 1975. My first job was in Connecticut, so as newlyweds, we moved away. It was a new experience for both of us to be away from our families. Lee’s first job was as a clerk in a fuel oil delivery company. She worked there until she had our first child, Sarah. After Sarah was born, she didn’t want to leave her with anyone to take care of her, so she took on a part time night job as a waitress after I came home from work. The most memorable thing that happened to her as a waitress is when she dropped a whole tray of food. She would later realize the job wasn’t worth it and left. In 1978, I would be laid off from my job and Lee would again take on a waitress job this time at a Howard Johnson. In June of that year I would start a new job and Lee would again leave her part time job. In 1978, Lee also had to deal with the tragedy of the loss of her brother who died of a work accident at the age of 33.

In October of 1979, we would move to our first home in a very rural town called Canterbury Connecticut. Lee was not pleased moving away from the ocean that she loved to visit and to an area where they have cows in the field behind our house and having to drive far to the nearest mall or major supermarket. In December of 1979 she gave birth to our second child, Bradford. She would start a part time evening job at the local family market as a cashier. As our children got older, Lee felt that they can be left in the care of a babysitter after school. So, she started her first full time job as a bank teller. She worked there until we made the move to Florida in 1991.

We first moved to Tampa, but the small company I worked for went out of business. So, we moved to Altamonte Springs where I started a new job in Orlando. Lee’s first job in Florida was at the JC Penny in the Altamonte mall. As a people person, she did very well in sales however she missed working in the banking field. I remember her being very persistent in calling HR for NCNB asking for a position. Because of her persistence, as the HR person would admit after Lee’s third call to her, she was finally granted an interview. Lee worked for the same bank, which eventually became Bank of America for over 25 years. She was very successful and proud of what she did. Lee would be promoted to teller manager, assistant manager and then to a banking center manager.

Lee was a very loving wife, mother and grandmother. She always cared for others. As a people person, she made friends wherever she went. I don’t think you could find one person that met her ever say anything bad about her. Well maybe some of the unruly bank customers. However, I have been told by some of her bank associates, that she has told some unruly customers where to go in such a nice way that they were looking forward to the trip.

She always strived to be her best not only at her job but also with her family and friends. She loved to shop, especially for clothes and handbags. Not one for having any computer skills but when she learned how to shop online that became very exciting for her. I think she bought several handbags, and over 20 pairs of eyeglasses online. She also loved to cook and entertain others. Those that worked for her experienced her annual Christmas parties where she provided enough food to feed an entire army and provided gifts for each of her associates. Lee was a big I Love Lucy fan. She always preferred shows and movies that made her laugh. She would not watch movies that had violence in it. She also loved gardening and visiting gardens. Lee and I were a regular visitor to Leu Gardens in Orlando, Bok Towers and one in Sarasota.

Lee always saw the potential in others no matter what their weakness. She would always show kindness and caring to others. It was what made her not only a great manager, but a great friend, wife, mother and grandmother.

When Lee was diagnosed with cancer last year she was determined to fight it with all her strength and prayers. Despite the pain and sickness that she had to endure with the chemo the last 18 months, her only real complaint was why the treatment was not working fast enough. Despite her situation and knowing her cancer is terminal, she was challenging the doctors to do better in finding a cure for cancer. She was speaking out in the hopes that others that are diagnosed with this disease, can be saved. It was her wishes that someday all cancer will be cured. We are wearing purple today as it represents pancreatic cancer. In the fight to find the cure for pancreatic cancer and to help fulfill Lee’s wishes, my family and I are asking to give whatever you can to the Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Network. Also, my daughter Sarah is running in the Run4Purple half marathon and is also accepting donations for the cause. She is much like her mom, strong willed and determined to see things accomplished. I want to thank her for all that she has done in helping her Mom and all of us in the family get through the last 18 months. I also want to thank my granddaughter Madison for being at her Grandma’s side many times the last 18 months and through Lee’s final hours on September 23rd.

A lot of people have asked me, “How are you?” throughout Lee’s 18-month ordeal. My response has been “I’m OK”. It took a lot of strength within me to watch helplessly the cancer slowly taking her live away. It is difficult for me to describe the emptiness and sadness of the loss of someone who I was so much in love with. The reason I selected the reading from the Corinthians is because it talks of how love never fails. The love we shared between us was one that never failed through both all the happy and sad times. And there were a lot more happier times. I thanked her many times for sharing them with me for over the last 43 years of marriage.

I know the pain has ended and Lee is happy in heaven. I look forward to being together again with her in heaven one day.

I’ll end with this line from the Corinthians “And now these three remain: Faith, Hope and Love. But the greatest of these is Love.” Thank You again very much for all your love, prayers and condolences.

3 Comments

  1. Jennifer Spolyar

    Mike,
    This was a beautiful story of life and love. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope your memories stay strong and help get your through this time. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  2. Milke what a beautiful tribute to Lee. I had completely forgotten that she had stuck her tongue ? out at Claudette and I. I just remember how frightened she looked and we wondered how her family was all living in that small apartment on the 3rd floor at that time. Remember Camping in the rain without tent ⛺️ floors down the cape we got soaked. Great wonderful memories that you and your family will always cherish . Lee will be with you always at all times. Love, Laugh, and memories cancer cannot take this away ??????? ????????????????????????????????????

  3. Michael that is not only a story of Love butwhat defines of truly being in Love. Two become One. You and lee set a beautiful example of that for those who had an opportunity to know you and shareilife withyou both. Thank you for all the laughs I remember and the kindness of both your loving and giving hearts Still praying for you!!! I know the days ahead are challenging for the 3 of you….Please know your friends are here for you if you should want to reach out. ANYTIME !!!

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